If you could read my mind, you wouldn’t be smiling.
Samantha McAllister looks just like the rest of the popular girls in her junior class. But hidden beneath the straightened hair and expertly applied makeup is a secret that her friends would never understand: Sam has Purely-Obsessional OCD and is consumed by a stream of dark thoughts and worries that she can’t turn off.
It wasn’t enough. But they heard
Every last word.
First things first, I was not supposed to pick this book up yesterday but I’m glad I did because this book moved me so much I finished it in one sitting. This a journey of Sam McAllister in finding her voice, true friendship and the most important thing, accepting herself. This book made it to my Top Reads for 2015 I just could not put it down.
The first few chapters of this book gives you an image of a normal teenage girl. The one who competes, has crushes, has the perfect squad and family you won’t think there is anything wrong with her. Until you get to that chapter where you finally see her breaking down inside the kitchen reciting mantras to keep the voices inside her head stop. Sam is dealing with Purely-Obsessional OCD and she is consumed by a stream of dark thoughts and worries she could not turn off. Her best friends does not know this about Sam because when you’re inside this perfect group which they call the “Crazy Eights”, you are supposed to be normal. Her family and shrink on the other hand is my favorite thing about this book. I love how they support Sam and I also love how they help her fight her panic attacks. When you are struggling with any kind of mental illness it is very important that you have your family with you because they are your strongest foundation.
Now on finding her true friends, I think when she met Caroline and the Poetic 7 it was really good for her. I liked how they made her healthy and vibrant when they are all reciting their poetry together; It helped her a lot in accepting herself and putting her guard down. The huge reveal in the final chapters shocked me and I just can’t put into words how I felt when the author wrote that. I was confused, sad and a bit angry because that was just cruel. But, upon reading more I knew why she did it and now I begin to accept it. I shed a few tears because of that reveal and I even shed more when I read the poem.
Sam’s journey in this book is very well paced for me and I saw the transition from Summer Sam to First day of school Sam to Accepting Sam. This book helped me understand more about OCD and how having the right kind of friends and a strong family foundation can help you in your toughest times.
Please do read this book. You might love it like I did. But, if you don’t. That’s okay. 🙂 Thank you for reading up until here!